Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around

Journal Change....

2005-02-23T21:18:05Z

So as you have noticed i haven't been posting on this journal, reason being, i have another. yes, erin, another journal that i decided to keep private. but i will probably only be using that one, and i would like to keep everyone on my friends list. so i will add you and hope you add me back. the name is sublimylife sorry i haven't been commenting, but i will get back into it now.

yeah for um....work? nah.

2005-01-19T07:35:40Z

work is busy because of the tournament. they want me to work in the tent where 12 people stand around doing nothing for 8 hours. but if something goes wrong, it's my fault because i am the bottom of the totem pole. sweet. i need to figure out a way to convince them to put me back out on the driving range for the rest of the golf tournament. i am horrible at retail and working the cash register. well, not horrible, i just haven't been properly trained. my company definitely knows how to run it's business.

uh....NOT.

i went to a party with john daly and country singer johnny lee hooker last night. how strange. it was gun though. got to hear live southern country rock music. this is going to be a long week.

well, what do you know? i'm actually writing in this thing again....

2005-01-10T09:25:54Z

So, I've been out of sight, out of mind for a while. Busy with another part of my life, I guess. Not really. Just lazy. But I didn't have anything to write, as I do right now. Actually, I just saw Sideways. A movie about winetasting, but more importantly filmed near my hometown, on the Central Coast of California. It was really nostalgic seeing all these places in this "imaginary world", but places that I have been to many times. I mean, they had the Hitching Post, which is good eats, and they showed the area in a smaller, more peaceful attitude then people make it out to be. It's the way I like to remember it when I think about it. I was biased, but I gave it my full fledged support. It's definitely funny, but I just don't know to what degree.

The dodgers are going to trade shawn green none the less. He has agreed in principle to go to arizona, and now derek lowe is coming to los angeles to meet with the team. i don't have any real feelings about this offseason anymore. I just want the season to start so i can watch games and take my attention off how i feel about not knowing anyone or not seeing the guys i liked to watch on the field in dodger blue. oh well, we got to move on right?

joe_boo @ 2004-12-16T20:30:00

2004-12-17T04:35:14Z

I guess a team without any superstars is team without any big contracts. Oh wait, the dodgers signed kent for 17 mil. oh well. got to move on. actually, i am going to wallow for a few more days. what a sucky day. and i thought trading loduca was going to be the worst of it. oh the life of a dodger fan, i can't wait to see what they do (or don't do) next.

joe_boo @ 2004-12-08T20:25:00

2004-12-09T04:33:39Z

The baseball off season is starting to take shape. What will the dodgers do or do without? I think every year I am surprised by the moves or lack there of. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I need to go to the grocery store and get some real food. My roommates were cooking earlier and it was intoxicating. Fast food has one unoriginal smell, most of the time. I think we like fast food because we are always hungry now a days, you know, when you are bored hungry. so you can just go to jack in the crack and get a quick fix. But real food, that sounds so good right now. I am sure my mood will change by tomorrow.

This quote is so cool:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

Read. Read. READ. or listen.....

2004-12-08T05:54:14Z

I need to go to the bookstore. Someone reminded me of it. I seem to have a weird determination to learn history, philosophy, science and other stuff now that I am OUT of school. Now that there is no deadlines, no grades I feel free to learn. There are so many books I want to read. I feel like I am in a race to learn. Maybe because of my screenwriting. I want to get my creative originality out there before coincidence puts something similar and my ideas are done. Except it hurts my eyes when I read for prolong periods of time. Maybe they will have most on audio.

"The other line always moves faster." - Barbara Ettore

Ramble to make you forget the important, useless things....

2004-12-06T06:24:30Z

What I got will not get me as far as believe I can possibly go. I need turbo rocket boosters with a cool helmet so all the girls will swoon as I fly by. How cool would that be. The new "Rocketeer." How come he never burned his ass and legs when he was flying? There was a huge, fire blowing engine strapped to his back and he comes out fine every time he flies. The mysteries of comic books.

How do people just start out life in such good spirits and never delineate from that perspective their whole life? These people don't care about what can't happen or what goes wrong, but they care for what makes up happy, what makes us whole, and what will help us continuing to love. I want to believe this is me, but I the fact that I am aware of both sides to the equation makes me speculate. Funny. You want to make everyone happy, but that makes you lower your self importance and supposedly now YOU are not as happy with yourself. Or something like that. I think some people were made to be obnoxious or hateful and others were made to be patient and caring to balance the whole thing out. That or I am just making nonsense. I hope I am selfless enough at least once in my life to lower MY self importance to make others happy.

"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us." - Quentin Crisp

joe_boo @ 2004-12-03T18:22:00

2004-12-04T02:38:52Z

My mind rotates around the same ideas, but can't seem to pinpoint a clear cut determination about them. There is a cloudy fog that disorganizes my ideas and recycles them back into a confusing collage of images and words that don't make any sense. No, I am not drunk. I am a little sick. But I just can't seem to grasp that ability to get into the zone and act determinedly. Whatever, I think I just need to get a good night's rest.

Last night was karaoke for my friend's birthday. Not the best thing to do to remedy a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough, but i was not always the one to make logical decisions. But everyone had fun and we embarrassed ourselves in a rather grand fashion so it was definitely fun.

I gave two of the people in my golf package tips today since i am the pro. well, they ended up in even worst scenarios then before i gave them the tip. i am going to make a fine golf pro. my buddy gave this other guy a tip and he hit the ball on the green when he probably never would have before and it won the hole for his team, but he stiffed my buddy with the tip. now we don't demand tips, but if you learn something from the pro that dramatically helps you in your golf game then it seems natural you would be somewhat inclined to repay that favor. whatever, it didn't bother me that much, but my buddy was shocked he didn't get any type of payback. got to love the tribulations of work...

I am so amped about my new kicks. Puma Meile's, brand new and just for working as a p.a. for this Porsche event. Hopefully there will be a bunch of student films next semester that need p.a.'s. the best thing about them is the food. it's like a buffet, which is probably not good for me, but it's always GOOD food. They take care of their hired help in movies.

Found this in one of my communities....

2004-11-30T06:04:28Z

I got this from (lookin4he2luv)

Kind of like a Wish List:

Step One
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

I don't have anything that I need, so I didn't put anything on my list, but here's an example of an actual person. There is contact info after for if you actually can get something for them. I think this is pretty interesting, I can't believe that many people will do it, but it's fun to think that it might work for some people.

lookin4he2luv's wish list

1. A letter, card, note, whatever! Don't care what you say, just send it (snail mail prefered).

2. A visit or party/club invite during my college break. [18 December through 23 January] (Other than the two times we may be going to see RHPS)

3. Something local to where you live. (A certain kind of rock; a type of candy; a key chain with your towns name on it, whatever)

4. A mix cd. Almost any type of music, Don't care.. Limited to no country though.

5. Make me laugh on Christmas. Call me, write something goofy, make a silly icon, make a funny LJ post, whatever.

6. Any good DVD's you'd think I'd be into (I don't have many, so take your pick or get a rare-ish thing like a comedy DVD)

7. Something for my car (seat cover, dice, ect)

8. An icon made just for me. (Any kind of icon that you would think of me by looking at it. I'll likely even add your's to my user icons.)

9. A warm scarf, hat, mittens, ect for this winter.

10. Candles! Don’t care the color, scent, or size, I just want more candles!

My contact info:
Rachael Kolakowski
507 Route 131
Callicoon, NY 12723
(845) 887-1920

cute_kitty_rk@yahoo.com
AIM: Lookin4he2winhrt

At least I got my bag of cherios....

2004-11-30T05:37:34Z

Thanksgiving drained me. I have no energy. But the only way to get it back is to get some more exercise. So I think that means hittin the gym this week, shootin hoops and me gasping for air since i am way out of condition. Too much turkey.

I brought this back from a conversation I had. I don't know why I like it so much, maybe because I wrote it in response to an lj post on the fly.

Stealing the Secret of Life

So fortunate in life's tempting stratosphere,
you have found what cannot be understood,
yet where still is feared,
you discover human simplicity
in the split second of moments,
allowing only insight
slightly, to guide the way,
this night of all nights
with sealed lips you can't say
you have stolen the secret of life,
and kept it to yourself,
getting rich without the gold,
and without money,
finding wealth,
wishing onto brightly lighted stars,
happy with the hand your dealt.

I was reminded multiple times in the last few days of how many people in my life have such a good understanding of what they want and what they are doing to get it. I admire those who have even have a clue of what is going on. That sort of self awareness in people is comforting. I'm glad that you guys are learning and experiencing and enjoying what you have right now on your plate because there are so many people who seem to find a way to hate everything that life has to offer. I have a pretty good feeling about life and its mysteries, but it's always fun to hear what others have to say about it.

I received a brand new pair of puma mellie's for my job tomorrow and thursday at the stadium. They are SWEET. Plus I got them for free, well not free, but I didn't pay any cash for them.

Hope everyone's holiday was good or at least restful...

how can I give what I have never received?

2004-11-21T06:14:29Z

Everyone seems to have their take on the world. I think all the angles have been used. I want to be creative, but I feel like creativity is out of style. Everyone copies and everything has been copied. It feels like my life was lived 40 times in different places by different people who just got the same fix as me. I know there's so much out there that's unique that I can make unique. It just feels right now in this slice of my life I keep looking at the same setting in the snowglobe of current living. I try to shake it up, but it floats back into the same position. And actually I like it like that sometimes. I just want to make sure I keep that hope that the future holds a creative road for all of us.

Me and my roommate passed Contra in 29 min last night. With the code of course. I don't think I have the patience anymore to try it without the code.

I love how impossible it is for San Diegans to decide on where to eat. We have a million of the same type of restaurant and then a million more of another type. Everyone must spend at least a half hour discussing where to eat. It's so funny. But it can get frustrating when everyone is dying of hunger.

I don't know how much I should charge for golf lessons. The going rate for a half hour is $35 for juniors and $50 for adults. But I can set my own prices and it seems that most people from La Jolla and Del Mar don't care how much they pay or that all teachers have different prices. I can't wait to start working at 6 every morning....not.

I had 15 min conversation about pogs the other day. How it was the biggest, quickest trend. There used to be pog tournaments at the baseball card shop after school everyday. so weird....

joe_boo @ 2004-11-10T10:53:00

2004-11-10T19:03:18Z

I have worked out in consecutive days. that has got to be a record. it's weird how exerting yourself gives you more energy.

There is a frenzy for Halo 2. it's all over the radio. this one guy said if his house was on fire, the one thing he would take would be Halo.

i have nothing else. except me and my roommates sat through the entire real world/laguna beach block on mtv last night. yeah, how about that. i'm keeping up on my reality t.v. and i added ELF to my netflix list. haven't seen it, but have heard some good things. i thought anchorman was pretty funny.

joe_boo @ 2004-11-08T09:52:00

2004-11-08T18:13:59Z

i seem to be getting so lazy with the easiest things. there is a bag of skittles that has been sitting on my dresser for about 2 months. i don't know why i haven't finished it or thrown it away. it's nostalgia now. soon it will be a trend and you can buy half eaten bags of candy at ikea for your room.

i saw RAY on friday night. it was....long. very very long. but good. it's just hard to really enjoy a movie that is, well long. before we know it there will be a biography movie on every celebrity, sports star, musician that ever lived. and they will all use the same movie formula which will make them seem like the same people after we watch every one. and then every person of importance will lose their uniqueness. oh, and i saw shrek 2. now that was a good movie. probably because it was not TWO AND HALF freakin hours long. and it had a new character, puss n boots played by antonia banderas. he will probably follow up this role one a "new" robert rodriguez film about a mariachi player who kicks everyone's asses, because he has only been in two of those so far.

i was content listening to the rain outside last night for hours. it's a pretty good soundtrack. i need to go to seattle for a week. i am big on overcast weather. i think it's because i can wear all kinds of cool jackets.

so i will try to keep up with more frequent updates for all of you who are just dying to know whats going on, wink wink. and hopefully i will not bore anyone to sleep.

joe_boo @ 2004-11-03T10:27:00

2004-11-04T10:01:59Z

john lithgow was at the golf course getting lessons today. he's pretty popular. two of the pros came up just to wacth him hit golf balls. i don't know if i really want to be a teaching pro. i think i would rather just start practicing really hard and see if i can play professionally. these teaching pro's don't seem to be having a good time at their job. sometimes, but not most of the time.

i need a new cd player. that or a live cover band that will follow me around and play songs for me....

joe_boo @ 2004-10-25T22:42:00

2004-10-26T05:44:10Z

my mind is exhausted, but i'm not really that tired. i'm in that insomnia mode from fight club. not really asleep not really awake. i guess i could do some laundry, but then i would have to go downstairs....

these are addicting....

2004-10-25T18:14:55Z

If you lived at the X-Mansion by tigerlilygamgee

Username

Your Code Name

Your Mutant Power

Flight

Your Roommate

Rogue

Your Costume Colors

Green & Black

You Will Date

Banshee

You Will Fight With

Storm

Your Best Friend Will Be

Bishop

You Will Be Betrayed By

Longshot

Your Arch Rival Will Be

Mojo

Your Number of Missions Will Be

The Percentage of Successful Ones Is: 97%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Climate Control

2004-10-13T07:35:22Z

The weather was perfect today. It was mid 70's all day and more importantly, no wind. someone told me the average house in southern california cost a little under $10,000 in 1954 and now the average cost is a little over $1 million. Oh i think i will be getting a house sometime soon. my great great grandchildren can pay off the mortgage in a hundred years. that's so crazy.

i just got out of the movie shark tale. it was pretty hilarious. those type of movies seem to get funnier and more detailed each time. but what is the deal with the 32 previews before the movie? it started 20 min later than it was supposed to. whateves, the flick was great, i highly recommend it.

too tired to think, i'm out.

LIMA TIME, BABY!!!

2004-10-10T05:33:23Z

You better "BELIE IT!" That was such a great game, but now I don't know if I can get to sleep because I am so anxious for tomorrow. But whatever the case, it feels so good to get one in the books and now they can concentrate on one more game. It's so great. I hope this nervous feeling will settle....

Erin, you are serious good luck. Dodger Blue to the fullest...

Mission Jetty

2004-10-09T06:20:21Z

Went out to Mission Jetty today to catch some waves. It was really small at first, but there were a million people wating for something. i felt like a total amatuer, like i was just in everyone's way. to make matters worse, some girl was shredding in a bikini! so awsomely ridiculous in every sense of it. but such an attack on my male macho ego or whatever you call it made me stay in for a few too many sets to prove that i could hang if she did it. i was sooooo wasted afterward. i definately need to work on my stamina. but it was fun. the waves picked up after about 30 min and got up to 4-5 feet and some wouldn't even close out 5 seconds after you drop in. i could hear october fest going off across the way in OB. they were definately getting trashed.

"Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: What about you, what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit."

- Office Space

This was a great, "do nothing" day....

joe_boo @ 2004-10-05T10:16:00

2004-10-06T07:26:29Z

it's weird how some people seem to hear you and pay such great attention and have such an interest, but don't understand a word you say. people hear, but they don't seem to listen sometimes. and it makes me realize how little i listen to others when they talk. i wish i had more people to listen to, but they again i wish i had given those people already in my life a chance to talk to me....

i hate learning lessons while you trying to teach that lesson to some one else, what hypocrisy.

joe_boo @ 2004-09-26T23:59:00

2004-09-27T07:03:12Z

i have tried to please too many people, while sympathizing with one person, i ended up pissing off another. you can never EVER win. it sucks, but that's how life flows. too bad for us considerate folk who actually think about those kinds of things. i guess don't worry about what you cannot control, but still can't we all just get along?

probably not. but in the mean time, i will try my best.

late.

joe_boo @ 2004-09-25T21:35:00

2004-09-26T04:55:18Z

what a long day at work. it got so slow at one point i fed this huge spider pieces of sour skittles. yes, that sounds weird and the spider didn't even eat them, it just knocked them off and i was still bored i listened to that heartbreaking dodgers giants game. and my boss needled me about it because he is a giants fan. figures.

i went to jamba juice and the guy in front of me had a really weird name, and the girl working there didn't know whether to attempt his name and screw it up or what, but the guy ended up just walking over and she was all embarrased and then she looked at my order and i just smiled and said, "it's cool you don't have to say my name." then she was really embarrased.

i wondered walking out of there that these places try to make everyone more personable, but instead everyone becomes more shy, frustrated or introverted. when people are forced to act nice and pleasant it sometimes comes off as fake, or forced or half hearted. how ironic.

daily interlude

2004-09-24T17:33:39Z

so i was supposed to surf yesterday, but it was at 7 in the morning, so of course i didn't even move when my alarm went off. it is so hard to get into a groove for surfing. i want to surf, but not in the afternoon when it's crowded, but i don't want to get up all early, alright enough whining. i just need to learn to get up in the morning. once you get past that initial few minutes when you sit up in bed, you are awake for the rest of the day and don't take a second thought about it, it's just that those first few minutes are key....

anyways i also went to school with my friend and we had a few drinks. can you believe that? getting tipsy at school, what a concept. then my mom call me and ragged on me for drinking at lunch time. what are parents for? but it was fun, everyone walks by the pub on campus so everyone who is coming or leaving school says what's up.

i also went to the dodgers/padres game, that was interesting. they now have a sign that comes up on the big board that says "beat LA" and everyone chants beat LA. nice. the padre fans have so much contempt for LA fans for not caring about games between dodgers and padres. get a clue. there is no reason the dodgers should consider the padres rivals until they have something to rival about. i just don't like how ignorant most fans are that talk trash to me. if you are going to talk, make sure you can back it up, but they can't and i just turn and walk away. and i vent here because even though it doesn't make me angry, it is a little annoying everytime i go to the padre games. okay, i'm done with that.

i have been trying to pick up the guitar again. but it is really really hard. you just have to sit and bust out those power chords time and time again. i don't have any calluses yet, and that would help. but i have the intro to bob marley redemption song and led zeppelin Stairway to Heaven down, which are both a must. my dreams of jamming on stage are slowly dwindling away with the realization that i should leave music to the professionals.

less than a grain. late.

joe_boo @ 2004-09-19T21:54:00

2004-09-20T04:56:45Z

just got back from a golf trip. it was so stereotypically business-like and vacationy, that i kept thinking that i was going to have to go to some conference center for a workshop or something. i went with three guys who talked shop all weekend and i felt completely useless in the context of a working class citizen. oh well, i am still not ready to work in a cubicle. but i don't think anyone is, most people just weigh their options and the payoff is usually worth the sacrifice. i commend those brave souls who suffer through tedious hours of real work week in and week out. its just not for me. that is why i just do the golf trips.....

joe_boo @ 2004-09-15T02:38:00

2004-09-15T09:47:03Z

"how inconsistent is my consistent life? does being void of drama make me a sane, healthy person? or will i go insane from the monotony of passing through out life without living? what is the quote? people die a thousand deaths, but we only truly live once. without jealousy, without contempt, without scorn, without loneliness, without despair, without depression, without hate i glide through this tumultuious world in a passive state of mind. i am a zen master with no sense of zen. but without joy, without happy anxiety, without excitment, without affirmation, without understanding, without someone...i float on, infinitely wondering if i had missed out on something important."